The fly that i had let live in the past must have slipped my mind. He changed my perspective, yet i let that perspective slip from my grasp. I had been seeing more and more flies at my job. And without thinking of the creature itself anymore, i was thinking about my duty and ego. I had whacked a few flies, injuring them and caging them into the bug zapper. Trying desperately to get them electrocuted i never succeeded. I could hear throughout the day the flies being zapped occasionally but never had the chance to see it. I gave up on trying to zap them and now was in it to collect my trophies. I swatted a good accumulation within the past two or three weeks. The bottom of the cage was full with their carcasses. Yesterday i saw a desperate fly at the bottom of the cage that was still fluttering about frantically. He hit the bug zapper rods (which the whole time i thought it was the lights that shocked them) and got stuck at the bottom literally frying with an electric smokey flavor. If i hadnt witnessed it i would have indeed heard it. It was a long duration of shock venting through his body.
Now i was aware of how to properly utilize the bug zapper. I was excited to retry my attempts to shock the helpless invertebrates.
Today i found one on the floor and sprayed him with the water i was using to wash dishes. He became wet and heavy unable to fly. I picked a skewer up to lift him from the ground and he jumped on it quickly. Immediately I rushed him to the zapper and poked him in through the grate to give him a shock. he kept rotating and circling and running away from the rods, like he knew what these things were. Eventually with my efforts to dismember him so bad i successfully electrocuted the fly.
It didn’t satisfy me. In fact i felt remorse. This little guy was smart enough to avoid it. I was also inhumane enough to kill him using a method that was enabled for scared and stupid flies. I looked at the bottom of the cage and saw that the last batch of dead heads were evacuated. It was just the one that i had shocked. It emphasized the unfairness about the cat and mouse i just played.
I may “need” to kill these flies. Maybe they are a bother. I still don’t know their purpose of creation. But i do know this. The time i’ve examined their reactions and interests has brought me closer to them. Its like ive never known how a fly really felt to recently. I like them.